Why you say yes when you should say no
Do you default to yes? If we are always saying yes, then our plates will always be over flowing. The reason we say yes to work even when we know we can’t complete it is because unconsciously we feel that their sense of self, our job, our relationships or even our very survival hangs on our continuing to say yes.
Women are particularly prone to this because, according to Dr Louann Brizendine (a neuropsychiatrist at the University of California and author of “The Female Brain”) they are wired to maintain relationships. So a woman will worry that their refusal might jeopardize the relationship. The problem is that if we are continually saying yes, we cannot actually deliver on our promises and eventually our stress and inability to deliver impact on the relationships anyway. Far better to be clear up front if you know you can’t meet an expectation and renegotiate the expectation – more on this later.
The other reason we say yes when we should probably say no is that we are not clear on what is important – what to say yes to! Sorting this out is the subject of our next section.
- Who do you find yourself saying yes to when you probably would be better to say not or renegotiate with?
- What could you say instead?